Why Oh Why?

Hmm I remember when I used to pour my heart out in this blog. When I used to post anything and everything I wanted. Maybe I didnt have much of a life back then. Maybe I was way younger and more carefree. But it seems that there are things that happened in my life that I want to tell but I can't let it out in my blog.

For fear of hurting those of my friends that do read this blog. *sigh* sometimes I wish I could post as anonymous. Do I make a new blog? Do I even bother? Well, lets start by updating you guys on some old old news...

My sister, her husband and her kids, My sister and Mother, they went to Korea recently for a holiday. So that leaves the Maid and My brother at the house .. since my brother stays back at work til late, My mom asked me to housesit for a while. To keep the maid company coz she gets scared being there alone all day. So I do.. anyway .. this isnt the juicy part..

They came back and all is well but like a day or two afterwards, my mom asked me if I took or removed or whatever my brother in laws watch. I said no. of course not. It appears that my brother has been up to his old tricks again but when confronted. he denied it. Ok la.. so that means my brother in law and sis are desperately looking for a condo or something to stay at.

so you'd think that this was the last of it? fat chance...

recently my brother moved out with a note to my mom saying "sorry, I sold your laptop" well somthing like dat la..

yep.. thats old news baby! blooody fucker

Hana on the loose

Oh my gawd... I tell you my niece Hana is a handful. Her mom and I had a meeting with my boss to discuss some artwork that she wants done, so we brought the kids to the Curve. The husband came too but he went off to fetch his little sister from LRT. The baby went with him

Anyway, during the meeting, boy was she fidgety... so I took her jalan2.. she saw these things and immediately went gaga... hahahaha so cute.. terus panjat tue.. no hesitation at all. I had like RM3 on me at the time so no money la to put in the machine..

anyway.. after a while, after she was some other kids make the thing move. She became a little bit violet.. true i tell you.. *whack* the button.. *stomp* the pedal and basically shaking the thing to make it move .. Had to FORCIBLY remove her and bring her back to her mom..

Actually thats not true .. She climbed down and immediately started walking.. I was like confused.. but ok so i ikut her la... after a while I asked where she wanted to go but no answer lama la juga.. Pastu tiba2 nangis.. la... sesat rupanye..

THIS IS WHY U NEVER LEAVE UR KIDS ALONE ....

so I bawa dia balik kat mak dia la.. tapi sekejap je dia stay.. Tengah sembang2 nie,... TIBA TIBA dia menonong je keluar dari Dome tue .. jalan sendiri ke mesin2 tue.. Terkejut kiteorang.. apa lagi.. I la yg kena kejar.. This second time, is when I had to FORCIBLY remove her.

Oh What a Lovely Family

Ha Ha ..

My mom is actually in Johor right now. She's consulting with my sister and brother in law. In regards to what? Well, in regards to my elder Brother of course. Well to cut it short. He did it again.

Last week my sis, Nadia told me that apparently, my brother hasn't been going to classes again. This time, for months at end. It all started when my brother in law enquired why the check he issued to Lim Kok Wing hasn't been cleared. A sum of RM9000. Its his school fees.

Well, of course, my sister was tasked by my mother to call up the school and find out things. Sorry to say, the rest is history. To make matters worse, she also found out that she lost all her jewelry... amounting to RM30K. yep. thats my bro.. This is on top of the fact that he asks my mum for money like everyday.. School going expenses and art supplies and photocopying and shit.

I don't know what is wrong with the guy. He is like 2 years older than me, fired from many jobs, is now studying sponsored by my eldest sister and still he's like that. I think its gambling and drugs. Oh he isn't hard core addict.. well not yet anyway..

oh btw.. the political climate nowadays is very interesting.. I find myself unable to not read malaysiakini hahaha..

my Mom's non participative policy

today was a bit slow and hectic, its one of those days.. my fever broke today i think and I am feeling much better. These past few days have been quite reflective for me. Thinking of relationships and all. I tried to do a bunch of things at about 4pm today hohohoho silly me didnt get to public bank before they closed so I couldn't open up an account. Neither did I managed to get that registered letter from the post office, no doubt another letter asking me to pay my outstanding car loan.

But I did manage to make copies of the house key. I actually made a copy for my sister but mommy refused to give her a copy (i dunno why not), got myself a haircut and asked CIMB about a balance transfer. they only offer 0% for 3 months. not enough for me.

Anyway, to the gist of the story, as I went back home, I singgah my sister punya office to get back my maybank card. :) her computer got infected which I am going to try to fix tomorow. anyway, I went home after that, and my mom got in a row with my sister. I am skipping details sinc I am pretty tired of this typical long long post too.

anyway, apparently my mom doesnt want any additional stress anymore. not from me (being gay), not from my sister (fights with the husband) and not from my brother (failing his exams and drug abuse). I totally understand, who would want it, you raised your children to adulthood and of course you would expect them to be independently self sufficient. But to hear that your mom dont want to know of your problems and you better solve it yourself. *sigh* sedeh pon ada gak. but she does make sense you know. My sister shouldn't be fighting with her husband in public. shouting in the phone and all. it is distracting to the office.


and my brother well... lets just skip that subject.. as for me.. what the fuck am I gonna do? be straight? shit. oh well I guess I should antagonize her too much. But for the record I think after a few months, with this new job, things should be much much better. hopefully, I can pay off all my outstanding debts. start saving again. and generally be independent. I think I am too spontaneous... I dont think thngs through.. oh well thats just me.

Quick update...

hmm ok so I wont tell u guys about my brother because it isnt my place. Even though I want to bitch about it but I wont.

However it is important to know that My mom had an actualy conversation today. About my brother. The problem that actually absorbed most of the attention and wrath from my coming out. Yes, I think I am surviving this "crisis" which means, I dont have to move out just yet.

She did touch upon the whole me being gay thing tho, briefly at which point, I chose to remain quiet.

The Day After?

It was weird... I have butterflies in my stomach but when I entered... Nothing. No drama, nothing.. I know I am fucking chicken shit so I went in got my phone.. went here and there... looked for the keys to my house (ironic isn't it?) which i had just found to be missing from my car keys tangle.

And left. Went to TTDI to wait for someone (still gigih nie) but no show so I went to Collins place. Swam in the pool and just basically hanged out. by midnight, I figure I had better get back. *sigh*

it is just so weird. But i checked my messages, the irony is that the SMS that totally outed me was from my Str8 Fren, it states something like "Gay, aku x dapat dtg la mlm nie, ada hal. lain kali aja la ok? nanti aku bagi ko isap konek aku."

it was a fucking joke! but it started the whole witch hunt.

hmmm MY MOM FUCKING FOUND OUT!

well.. the cat is out of the bag.

My mom found out. SHit. I forgot to bring my phone, it was charging and she read the messages.
yep its shit.. my sister just YMed me and told me everything. I dunno maybe I am in shock which I dont think so. Should I be worried? like WHERE THE FUCK am I going to live?

oh well here is the transcript for our conversation...

Hussin Yusof: sheet i left my phone at home
nadlat: YES
nadlat: mak is sooo fucking upset
Hussin Yusof: why?
nadlat: she was sceaming her lungs out at me....
nadlat: cause she read ur smsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Hussin Yusof: hahaha I am in deep sheet then
nadlat: yes
Hussin Yusof: wat she say?
nadlat: i mean how can u leave ur phone????
nadlat: so many things
Hussin Yusof: it was no batt
Hussin Yusof: so i charged it lat
Hussin Yusof: la
Hussin Yusof: and forgot since I was rushing oredi
nadlat: like if she knew she wouldnt give money to u for road tax
Hussin Yusof: and she was nagging and nagging and nagging
nadlat: cause she doesn't want to contribute to all the mak siat
nadlat: yeah
nadlat: ofcos lah
Hussin Yusof: well she sure can have it back
nadlat: i mean shit lah...why u leave ur phone when u knew got messages lah
nadlat: aiiiioooooooooo
nadlat: and d other phone also got all dat sms's
nadlat: next time i give u charger ok
Hussin Yusof: well nasib baik my old phone mati
Hussin Yusof: that one got gambar some more
nadlat: bring offis
nadlat: wat?????????????????
nadlat: wat>??????????????????
nadlat: wat???????????????????
nadlat: so she must of saw those gambar
Hussin Yusof: its rosak!!
nadlat: she said something....
nadlat: i pretended not to know lah
Hussin Yusof: u cannot start the fucking phone
nadlat: den she said which brother would sell his PENIS
nadlat: aiooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Hussin Yusof: ???
nadlat: i dunno lah
Hussin Yusof: sell penis?
nadlat: dats what she said
nadlat: not penis
Hussin Yusof: hello... that's just my anak ayam
nadlat: she did not say konek
Hussin Yusof: prolly la
nadlat: she said punie or something
Hussin Yusof: *dunno*
nadlat: eee.....what pictures u got der
Hussin Yusof: hohoho all sorts of naked and notty pics
Hussin Yusof: but nobody can buka the phone
Hussin Yusof: rosak ma
nadlat: any naked phone
nadlat: well she on d phone
nadlat: she sayng soo many things
Hussin Yusof: no no naked phone
Hussin Yusof: i dont know what that means
nadlat: she crying
nadlat: she crying x 10000000000
nadlat: was she like this also when she found out about my pregnancy
nadlat: cause i have a feeling she was
Hussin Yusof: i don't know
Hussin Yusof: i only was there during the end part
nadlat: oo wat was the end part of it
nadlat: cause she is saying it like...kamu semua...means u, me and prolly abang
nadlat: but den again ...to her abang dun do maksiat...
Hussin Yusof: yep
nadlat: she doesn't know about when he invited his girlfriends here lah
nadlat: hahahah
nadlat: oops
nadlat: i mean to d house
Hussin Yusof: abg is prolly the lightest offence
Hussin Yusof: hohoho yap
nadlat: cause i always caught him
Hussin Yusof: but even then its like.. ala biasa la lelaki muda
Hussin Yusof: I dun need to catch him one
Hussin Yusof: I KNOW lol
nadlat: yeah....i didn't just catch him once with one girl
nadlat: with many other girls
nadlat: hahahahahah
Hussin Yusof: she still on the phone with u?
nadlat: no she called and hung up on me
nadlat: she said to tell u dis
Hussin Yusof: hmm wat to do ah?
Hussin Yusof: not to go home?
Hussin Yusof: hohohoho sheeet!
Hussin Yusof: what the fuck am i going to do?
nadlat: 1. get out of homosexuality or move out of the house
nadlat: i DUNNO
Hussin Yusof: well we know the answer to no 1
nadlat: u can stay at my house for a while..if u want.....
nadlat: there is only number one
nadlat: she didnt' give u much option
Hussin Yusof: then why the fuck did u use numbering?
nadlat: like me...i had a few options
nadlat: huhuhuhuh
nadlat: hahha
Hussin Yusof: really?
Hussin Yusof: what was the options
nadlat: cause i dunno....
nadlat: so how??????
nadlat: she was crying and cursing
nadlat: and reciting the Quran
nadlat: she saying....latnat di tuhan....bakar dan bakar dan bakar dan bakar
nadlat: as for me....my sins...i kena tumpahan larva
nadlat: like dat lah
Hussin Yusof: and this month is really tight and everything
Hussin Yusof: kena tumpahan larva?
nadlat: ho ho ho....how den?????????????????
Hussin Yusof: like watever la.. do what we usually do..
nadlat: yeah lah...my sins lah ....unwed mother.....
Hussin Yusof: 1. me move out.
Hussin Yusof: 2. me continue living la..
nadlat: u can choose either
Hussin Yusof: 3. sheet i have to cancel my langkawi trip i think .. but i paid oredi the flight tickets
nadlat: hmmm......yeah.......wat langkawi trip?????
nadlat: when??????????
nadlat: give me d trip
nadlat: hahahahhahah
Hussin Yusof: oh i have a langkawi trip this 7 8 9 10
nadlat: wahhhhhhh
Hussin Yusof: where can! ><<

Old Pictures, Old Stories

My brother and I, when we were just little kids. We were ok I guess but back then we didnt think of much.. Just ran around the house and neighbourhood. This was before we left for Jakarta. It was your normal family back then. Oh my sister Nadia wasnt staying with us back then. But we had a few cousins staying not far away.







This next picture was taken during a family gathering I think. I was with my cousins.. I think the one on the foreground is Anas but I am not too sure.. I think I've lost contact with the rest.





By the time I was in MRSM, I was already fucked up. But these guys saved me. I didn't do much soul searching but I was constantly horny! hahahahaha. These guys were so ambitious and like the trademark of MRSM kids... we wanted to change the world. In fact, we believe we could. And still do. Its just that world domination takes time...





By the time I was in Sabah, I had live a few years in UPM lol.. made great friends who I do not keep in touch with. Had great fun which I still remember fondly. Found quite a bit of courage and found myself year by year. Gotten to know the seedier facets of life lol ... was introduced to Drugs but managed to say No! ... Tak Nak! hahahaha .. and I was in Sabah >> found true friends.. where yours truly was shaped by his experiences and finds self worth.. And I had the most wicked of FUN.

Bela Ikan. future + sekali anak ikan

ok to start the story... I have to start right after I went to Lee Kim's CNY Open House. I went back to work. I know that suxx but what to do.. My colleague who my boss told me to help said the data I gave her was
insufficient. She wants more.. so i ended up researching for the data until 6am. What suxx ass is that I could only substantiate about 4 or 6 of her data.. for like 7-8 hours of work on a SUNDAY!

anyway.. I went home. slept for like 2 hours << BUT it wasnt such a waste of time. Since we were able to ask him questions and all..

previously, I had dinner/supper with my old friend Nizam from Jusco. He works with Maju Ikan now.. anyway.. I had and still do have the hots for him but he oredi kahwin plus he has a child oredi. Still, its fun to flirt.. anyway when i told him about this thingy.. he said I should do Keli because Patin demand fluctuates and tilapia dies easily. Of course he said I should just do cows and lamb/sheep.

Anyway.. I went home... and still I got other work to do lol I had to take photos of giant, c4, tesco, jusco, BHP, petronas mesra, projet 7-11, pharmacies.. and a bunch of others la.. But I was soooo freaking tired.. I went to Wazi's to rehat.. I had an appointment wit Ryan at Shah Alam at 8pm and it was around 5pm or a lil bit earlier. So lazy that I ended up watching Rumour Has It. Which was a pretty good movie! of course I sempat la gi shah alam and also stopped a bit at the BHP on the was to snap snap the pics..

seksyen 19 was a bit hard to find though. anyway to cut the story short.. he gave me a BJ while I fingered him lol.. in the car! a bit tough to find secluded spots though. So basically when ever i am in Shah Alam for watever reason.. I usually would end up in Bandar Baru Klang! lol yep I went to snappy snappy in Jusco Klang.. of course since I still got quite an influence there.. terus terang je I amek gambor.. plus amek gambor with my jambu2 lol .. nakal tetap.. anyway that nite i lepak umah Ridzuan je.. sambil tengok movie Night at the Museum <<

well this last picture is me grabbing somebody hahahahaha .... and there are pictures of my ex colleagues and ex staff and ex jambu2..

BUDUH! I apologize for my stupidity!

Alahai..

I cant believe that I am such an Idiot! really truly! A loooooong time ago I actually without knowing the why.. turned on comments moderation.. lol and after switching to the new blogger.. I was fumbling around looking for my RSS feed when I saw that I had 39!!! comments to be moderated... freaking 39 comments! lol and here I thought that hmmm why nobody want to comment ?? lol I thought I was like forgotten or kena pulau ..

lol I cant believe how doofus I can get..

oh well .. Christmas was ... quiet but nice.. eve, I went with my sis Nadia to her fren punya place at Ampang.. actually its behind the zoo in melawati so cannot say Ampang anyway.. lol She had gorgeous looking kids including one 13 year old.. hensem/comel giler.. radhia and anak dia Ludfie pon ada.. its funny these kids are at that same age when I started having sex.. ludfie's voice was breaking.. hahaha kelako.. his childness is still there but a little bit tempered with maturity.. I am getting soooo old.. we had great dinner.. Lilly cooks great Italian Fare..

I tolong gaks la tapi tolong sikit sikit je.. she made roasted chicken, green salad (sedap!) , spagetti - tak tahu jenis macam mana dia masak lol and mashed potatoes.. kenyang giler..
It was nice .. this christmas was the best ever.. dulu dinner with cols mer and the gang at La Cerdo.. nie this pula.. but sebab xde duit punya pasal.. no clubbin this year.. save for angeline wedding.. risau gaks.. takut x cukup formal.. first time this..

anyway.. to everybody who reads this.. lol I am sorry x reply all those comments.. what to do? I didnt know it was there lol .. I love you guys.. coming up soon are resolutions

busy 2 days

well on saturday woke up at 12pm called fahmi, asked him what time we gonna do the driving lesson thingy. He said had something to do at putrajaya. I said ok.. at night then, 8pm.. after which, Zool called me up saying he wants me to come over to makan basically hari raya la, I told him, after driving lesson (i wanted to sleep)... checked my phone, got message from Leman asking me if I was home. he wants to drop off the documents i left at his car the other day.

in the end... I went back to sleep woke up in a bit, washed up and got ready to leave for Zool's place. My mom was just about to leave for Cheras too on her Mayfirst business. so i found myself at Mamar's birthday party, actually its for her daughter, in Bayu Tasik Permaisuri Condominium. hightailed out of there to zool's after a while.. oh yea, I also met my cousin Anas there. he looked hot.

so while at Zool, I called Leman and scheduled to go out to Blue Boy with him at 11:30ish. so basically after Zool's, the lesson never happened and I went off to Blueboy with Angel, Ram and Leman. Man, that place was soo packed... due to blue bar being closed. Had a great time dancing amongst sweaty people.. saw a cute short, skinhead boy wearing a green t-shirt there.. also saw a semi-cute chinese dude who didnt bother to make eye contact with me. after all that fun, outside the place..

I sensed somebody moving away from me, turns out, it was Rozi, trying to hide from us. having scared him to death, we proceeded to the cruising spot at my house, Tasek Kelana Jaya. honest, it was on Ram's insistence. so lepak there for a bit.. met with Justin, had a good scare when one of the guys went off running. rumours of cops and POW.

then we went to Syed for a drink.. had a huge laugh, by the time I got home it was already at 6am. told my brother to wake me up at 7am and he did.. work was tiring and sleepy but made some christmas decorations.

and while still at work, Yus called me up to ask if I was going to Halimahtul's open house.. I figured why not! so after much trouble we all went to her open house which is in sentul. there was Cheah, Jimmy, Yus and me. and now I am back after hours of laughing and reminiscizing about our time in Japan.