I suck at relationships

Yes I do.. Its been 3 weeks i think and maybe thats all its gonna be..

well.. I need sex baby.. like .. all the time.. and if I am going to be in a monogamous relationship.. then BLOODY give me sex.. doesnt even have to be good.. I love your body and your cock but hoho I've had better.. and your skillz aint much. *sigh*

plus ... he got all the insecurities with being affectionate in semi-publi (gay friends)
I mean.. doh.. plus he got something against somebody touching his shoulder.. okayyy.. that almost got me riled up ..

anyway.. hmm dia tgh merajuk and I dont feel like nak pujuk dia.. BOSAN!! I wanna meet somebody WILD

Of gatherings: Both of Joy and Sorrow

HAPPY BIRTHDAY my darling baby.

ok so you dont read my blog. Heck, you probably dont even know I have a blog. In time, you'll find out and read on me. I wish you Happy Birthday and I love you very dearly. You've made me happy these past few weeks, even through all the turmoil which I didn't tell you about.

Tonight, let us be merry and celebrate you being alive for the 27th? year. Lets celebrate me having the chance to meet you and love you.


Wahai kekasihku, terima kasih kerana hadir di hidupku. Ku ucapkan Selamat Menyambut Kelahiran Mu. Ku bersyukur kepada Ilahi kerna dapat ku menatap wajah mu dan melihat senyumanmu. Ku amat menyanyangi mu...



Chee wah!!! Jiwang!! Hahaha sapa kata gue ga bisa feelin2?

on to more serious note,....

Yesterday I went to the Gathering for Teo Beng Hock at Kelana Jaya Stadium. It was good but abit anticlimatic. There was alot of people there but not enough. The speeches were the same for most of the speakers. Although some made good points. I am never completely comfortable at political rallys. Its as if sometimes they try too hard to evoke our emotions.

Well I have been angry and sad these past few days. Not for Teo because I didnt know him. But because my beloved country is slowly denigerating to the point where I am ashamed. I am ashamed that we have let this happen. We are ashamed that we accept corruption and abuse. I am ashamed that he had to DIE!!! I will not accept it! Although My baby does not understand why I do the things I do, I must never forget that this is my country and if I dont do something at least, than I have no right to call myself a citizen. No Malaysian would stand by and watch his country be raped by murderers and pillagers.

I know it isnt much but last saturday early morning, I have been on a minor rampage around town with a white spray can. Graffiti you might call it, I drew the outline of Mr. Teo's corpse on the 5th floor of Plaza Masalam. That image I cannot ever forget. And so I commemorate. It was tough. I am by nature, a law abiding citizen. I am not a bad kid. So it was with much fear and apprehension that I vandalized Kuala Lumpur. I had to say it. I had to let it out. I hope you do too. find a way to let your view be known.

cinta berputik ke?

Yes, aku tahu baru kenal beberapa hari.. tapi hehehe dating is still dating.. going to try and make it work now. :D

Unbreak My HEART!!!

ok so the title of this post should be BREAK my FREAKIN cold and frozen HEART!!!!

hahaha that was dramatic but I guess this post should be dramatic. I was reading someone's blog. There was a post there about how he is giving up on love and all that crap. There I was reading and I realized that shit. I wish somebody would break my heart. I would be eternally grateful if somebody would break my heart. It would actually mean that I actually loved somebody. You know, akhirnya hatiku ini pasti telah mengenal cinta.

Apathy is a bitch. Damn, I wish I was jealous, I wish I didn't enjoy sex that much, I wish I'd just freaking say NO!. So yea, I read about heartbreaks and break ups and tears and anguish. I keep thinking, hey AT LEAST, you knew love. Unless it was a cinta sebelah tangan or in England, unrequited love.

In that case, I think........................ LOSER!!!! hahahah just kidding.

So yea, to all those sweet sweet boys, help me find L.O.V.E

Ah Sayang

:) baru kenal dia tadi :D tapi best gilor .. I think I nak buat special la.. but first I nak main puas2 dulu.... x nak terburu2 macam dulu... so biar sure jatuh hati sikit baru la nak commit..

anyway i think its about time for my transition into abg2 .. ok x?

I am in LOVE

or as close to it as I've ever been. :D

I met him at Taseq Kelana Jaya.. I just arrived and sat down at the arch. Well, I did a few things beforehand but lets just start there. Along comes this cute cute guy, wearing blue shorts and a sleeveless tank. I was looking at him, and he was looking back and I dont know how I got the guts but I nodded at him. At which point, he mumbled something.. I asked "what?" he said,"Baru datang ke?"

he continued past me to the toilet .. after a moments deliberations, I followed. HAHAHA it was full of people. the guy wasn't anywhere in sight, the 3 stalls had their doors closed probably not vacant. there was the usual ugly old chinese guy standing at the urinal probably flashing his puny dick and there was this one tall chinese guy in a white windbreaker at the sink. HAHA, well I couldnt just very well just leave could I?

so I blew my nose and left :D... he came out afterwards and we started chatting. It was a long while after since his friend came up also to chat or signal or watever.. that we could go somewhere private and get to know each other better :D..

but my god this guy is the real thing I hope. I promised him I wont be looking anymore and shit i mean it. I dont know what the fuck to do about Vince and Eddie. Should I let go now or to see the development with Jeff? HE is gorgeous to me, I love the way he looks, the way he smells, the way he taste. I like the way he kiss and the fact that he finds me hot too.

Oh Sayang!!!! Phuck Sunday dah nak kena balik dah

Hehehehe my sayang has to work late Tonite. I felt so bad yesterday, I had a training session and it ended up lasting up to 9pm! Shit.. and my sayang was already waiting at the cafe since 7pm. I got out of that boardroom and went straight to my desk. Nak tutup/shutdown komputer je

and guess wat? my boss called me and gave me a bunch of things to do. Actually at first he didnt give that much.. but then after awhile.. he kept on piling on more and more things to do.. In the end I ended up leaving the office almost at 11pm. Boleh?

so I was driving on the back home when I remembered that I had promised to drop my friend off at her place so back I went, nasib baik sempat turn left into Penaga.. I kalau tengah rushing memang and ditimpa bala after bala.. jadi cuai betoi.. so I was supposed to go to the cafe to meet my sayang tapi ter turn left. It almost reflex since its the turning to go back home.

well to cut things short. It was nice last nite.. makin sayang kat my love hohoho jiwang nie.. tapi sedeh coz me so stupid x bagitau awal2 my home line clear, semua org kat JB. Dia x bawa a change of clothes.. so dia xleh stay the nite. Tapi tonite la.. hehehe plan to go Karaoke ngan Cols pon x tahu jadik or not.. tapi i xde duit macam mana? matila.. tgh tunggu Zamri pinjam duit dari boss, kalau x dia xleh bayar balik duit I. Kalau dia x bayar balik.. macam mana i nak balik JB??

Vince

hmmm sedehnyer .. tinggal seminggu je kat sini I macam jumpe this really really really really really nice guy. :( sedeh nie.. lets call him V.. chinese slim,.. maybe 1 inch taller than me.. top hohoho nice in every way..

such a great kisser and nice in everyway :D

shit.. damn.. tapi xpe itula takdir kan? shit i already miss him padahal baru sekali bersua

*update
semalam i jumpa lagi V.. dapat la sembang2 .. hohohoho pergh semakin sayang la.. alamak macam mana nie? matila i fall in love time gini.. yg bestnyer i think he feels the same way.. sanggup tunggu I habis kerja. 2 jam taw dia tunggu .. x komplen pon.. my boss la benggong.. menci! :D tapi i tertipu .. masa tue dia kata dia 23 years old semalam dia ngaku he is 31 years old.. hehehe

Guys (fuck me hard) 4 Men

If you are a horny gay guy. you MUST join Guys4Men! It is just amazing! At first, I joined just for the heck of it. It doesnt look like much but it is powerpacked.. There are profiles with G rate Pictures and X rated Pictures. And for those shy ones, there are private pictures that we can either include in messages or by giving people passwords..

Some of those dudes post really hot pics hohoho In fact, I got a few up there myself hahaha. I used to be just a normal member but since I posted the links to G4M here, I've become a supporter which gives me benefits like a bigger inbox, ability to send messages to people with full inbox, ability to send messages to new members (< 1 week) and ability to see who clicked on my profile.. <<< hohoho macam cerita Heroes pulak..

but other than that, its a fully functional personals site. Unlike Manjam, where the number of messages u send are limited and the no of profiles u view are limited. There are no limits in G4M. U only need to clear ur inbox regularly.

Plus, there are the forums. Its very active for us, Malaysians, since we are a talkative bunch lol.. Therefore you can see alot of postings for people looking to rent rooms or looking for housemates.. there are also gatherings and all. In fact, I am going to a camping trip organized by one of em, this 28th April 2007 at berkelah falls. There are gonna be over 20 screaming fairies on that hill lol.. Only RM30 for the food.. we are car pooling so expenses are covered evenly with the driver.

ok enough about that. lets talk about luck.. hohoho so far, I've met a few guys, stayed in contact with a few guys and had sex with a few guys. Some of them I wish they'd do seconds while some of them, I dun want to do seconds with hohohoho well thats life isnt it? well, maybe I'll post a few saucy pics of the guys

People are in love

well, spent the night at Collins semalam.. read a little bit.. somebody sure is looking forward to somebody coming over lol.. anyway.. I look forward to it too la.. truth be told..

however, as for me... this 1st February, I'll be going to Jakarta for 4 days 3 nights ... lol ticket is bought oredi but the place to stay still dun have.. bloody hell hotels are expensive there.. of course it doesnt help that I nie kedekut nak mampos.. plan utk penginapan less than RM50 a night lol .. so that means Jln Jaksa..

i kalau gi holiday memang scrimp on lodgings... the basic is more than enough for me as i dont plan on staying inside it much.. plus i get to spend my money elsewhere..

masih tgh cari kerja nie.. siot je.. oh and skrg nie aktif/gigih ngan guys4men.. korang click la kat sebelah kanan tu and buat profile.. best juga la.. mostly kebanyakan very friendly, cuma kena ada gambor je ... jgn x bagi gambor udeh.. tu diaorang x suke.. at times i sakit hati gak ngan diaorang.. baru profile bodoh, dah demanding lebeh2..

but that is their right.. right.. yesterday sempat gaks gi briefing dana baru Public Mutual... siapa nak melabur? its dana asia pacific dan dana global.. dua2 balanced fund.. actually i x heran sgt because our islamic local balanced fund gave amazing returns this year..

but enough about that..

I just wanted to write about ANGGA actually hahahah sebab utama i nak gi jakarta is utk bersua ngan Angga.. he is this sweet guy i myspace/YM with.. mula mula benggong2 je.. tapi day by day I miss him lots.. walaupon i menyundel kat sini macam org giler tapi i consider him by online special someone.. so if things work out.. maybe by the time i balik dari jakarta dah takleh nak membohjankan diri..

plus its doesnt help that we are on opposite ends of the sexual experience spectrum lol

but still.. I LOVE U Angga sayang!!! lol sedeh kan? siot je macam budak kecPublishhik cinta cinta internet lol

BUSY!!!

GoD!! u think I would actually have time to blog since I finally actually have my own computer at work? But nO!! I've been fuckin busy like a bloody immigrant lol.. yesterday I went home at 5am freaking 5am! hahaha today will be after midnight probably.. I am posting this from the office somemore...

anyway.. Its not that bad since late attendance isnt that big a deal here MUAHAHAHAHHAAHA !!! so nice. hahaha but still I hope I can last long enough that it matters.. I think I might be too old for this..



anyway, matters of the heart are a little bit complicated.. got a few of the usual brushes but noting substantial.. I don't know If I am deluding myself... or if I am actually experiencing these feelings... teddy! hahahah why no more emel =(
anyway.. here included is something i sketched onto a stickypad at work.. I seem to be doing more sketches at work nowadays